Reasons I'm a lesbian... (a note to those too presumptuous)

It's gay pride parade on saturday (in belfast) and I'm super excited. I live in a small bigoted town, where  no one can be themselves, unless they're also bigoted and hate anyone that isn't considered "normal". So it's hard to be yourself without being judged, or insulted, or bullied, or all of those! My life has been plagued with bullies and I have low self esteem and blah blah blah---

Do you think I've filled the description box now? Okay. Now that you've all clicked my blog and your curiosity has reached its peak... "MARY-JANE'S A LESBIAN? Why, I knew it all along!" I know that's what you're thinking. Prepare to be disappointed. Heh.

Reasons my mum (and others) THINKS I'm a lesbian:

• All my friends are girls
• Except that one friend who's a boy but everyone thinks is gay, so he must be.
• I've never shown attraction to boys
• I've never had a boyfriend
• I named my car Paula, instead of Paul. And everyone knows girls are supposed to give their cars male names, otherwise they're big lesbians
• I'm already pretty weird, I mean come on. I'm a vegetarian. If that doesn't scream out "LESBIAN", then what does?!
• I don't like to wear dresses or skirts. I'm too manly for my own good.
• My best friend is male and I haven't made out with him. Gosh, that's obviously a sign I don't like penises.
• I'm going to Gay Pride. "Are you tryna hint at something?"

How it really is:

• Not all my friends are girls, I have many male friends too... but even if they were, so are yours?
• Even if he was gay, isn't it a stereotype that straight girls have gay guys friends?
• I've never SHOWN attraction to boys. Nor have I to girls.
• I've never had a girlfriend
• I name my car after this woman, who wouldn't go lesbian for a butter-obsessed American?

 

• I know a lot of women who have named their cars female names, does that mean they're gay? Or do you put husbands and children into the equation too...?
• Weird =/= gay.
• Choice of clothes =/= gay. Maybe if you're male and dress female... but even then, maybe they like the breeze...
• My other best friends are female and I haven't made out with them either...
• If I was gay and denied it as often as I do, I wouldn't go to Gay Pride. The best hint of all would be if I announced: "I LIKE VAGINAS. NOT PENISES." I'm going to show support to homosexual friends... and for the experience :3

Are you disappointed? Did you think I was coming out of the closet on my blog? Lolz.

PS I tried to find a lesbian one but I failed. This one is still relavant though, right?
Or are we all too presumptuous?

So basically the lesson here is, THOU SHOULDST NOT MAKE ASSUMPTIONS.

PPS Apologies if I've been using the word presumptuous in the wrong context, I'm an idiot.