Day 4 - 7 Things that cross your mind a lot

Seven things that cross your mind a lot

#1

Worries about this future. This one is a bit typical for an 18 year old but nevertheless it’s still something that crosses my mind far too much for my liking.

#2

Is art really the right choice? This one relates to number one but it’s more specific. I wonder if I could do an art course, is my skill enough, do I work hard enough? (obvious answer = no.) Could I stick with it? What if I fail to make money out of it?

#3

My appearance. Another typical one for an 18 year old girl but this stresses me out quite a lot. I’m far from pretty unfortunately and as Ms T keeps stressing this point in English, “Appearance determines your destiny”, or something like that. But I’m reassured that there are many people in the world that aren’t so shallow as I sometimes exaggerate them to be.

#4

Chocolate. And Starbursts. Relatively new addictions actually. As a child I loved sugar but then so did most children. And then I went through a period of not caring much for sweets at all. But now I rely on that sugary deliciousness to give me the energy I need to make it through the week. I’m actually eating chocolate right now; Cadbury Dairy Milk with Crunchy... mmm... I don’t eat it that much, this chocolate bar will probably last the whole week but it’s still a necessity. And Starbursts, where do I even start?! I don’t know how this came about but sometimes I have such strong cravings for them that my mother questions whether her daughter could possibly be pregnant.

#5

I actually have this huge fear of epilepsy. My sister has it, my mum had it when she was younger, and my cousins have it. It’s genetical so it’s not an totally irrational/unrealistic fear. However I’m constantly checking if my sister’s okay because I’ve seen her take some bad fits and I’m always afraid that she’ll be on her own when she takes one. Luckily she’s never been on her own so far.

#6

As I said before, I rehearse conversations over and over in my head because I get my words mixed up or else I’m afraid of saying something I’ll regret, so that’s definitely something that goes through my head a lot.

#7

I can’t be the only one with this thought... Ever afraid that someone’s listening in on your thoughts? Whether it’s God you fear; or a random psychic passerby; or Edward Cullen. Or all 3? At once?! Microsoft word is a mess of green squiggly lines because of my fail at sentence structure but who cares! I sometimes think things that I shouldn’t and then I quickly get my thoughts in check to make sure that if someone else is listening in on me that they won’t be creeped out.

I'm starting to dread day 10...

Hopefully you won't think less of me,

Mary-Jane